I honestly wasn’t planning to write this post but after a good old session of writing some of my thoughts in my trusty journal I felt like this was something I should predominantly share with my sisters in Christ.
I will keep it real, I am at the point in my life where I am thinking about my future here on earth like my career, my calling and not to mention future family. Who knows soon little ol’ me may be getting married and popping out children.
HOWEVER, as the days go by, I am starting to really shine my eyes and heart to what that actually means and involves. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and not something to be taken lightly (those vows at the altar are serious things). This also applies to having children as well. Once you have a child you have a responsibility to that other life you are basically a signpost to God for that child. They will be looking up to you! It is down to you to ensure they are brought up correctly and go down the right path (Ephesians 6:4 & Proverbs 22:6). This can’t be done with just any man that shows interest especially when I Chi knows that I do not want divorce to be my portion AT ALL.
After many situationships I know that none of that wahala is what I want in my life. Those situations have shined my eyes to what I do not want. Again I will be real, I know that I want a serious relationship to lead into a marriage. Yet, I also know that this process cannot be rushed. In my single season I still have so much more to learn about myself and life. More importantly, I still have so much further to go in my relationship with God. I need to get to that place where my foundation is so solid that nothing coming my way will shake my house/foundation this includes “bae”. God HAS to be the centre. If a man does not share that same view with me may I not compromise my standing with God but be strong enough to let him go and find his happiness elsewhere.
May I also be strong in my decision to abstain and remain celibate till marriage. I know my reasons for wanting to this. After my experience of allowing sex to be a part of the “getting to know/talking” stage and seeing how that panned out I never really knew the guy enough for me to be like “Yasss he’s the one for me”. I knew him physically and obviously from previous history but spiritually I knew nothing. In all honesty, in my situation, I was being fake in my walk with God by allowing that to creep in. After repenting I know what time it is! It is time for me to be real with my walk with God not lukewarm and false. Having said that IF a guy wants to enter my life in that manner that should not be a reason for me to fall away again. Godly relationships are possible but take your time its not every fine Christian brother that comes your way can actually be the one for you.
Also, after having an enlightening conversation with a male friend, it has also made me really think as to why I would want a bae. Is it for image and title or because I genuinely want to grow old with him. Especially me being a woman that would like to get married, image and keeping up appearances is simply not enough. How about when things are looking bleak should I run because it’s not looking rosy or should I persevere because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Again, having said this, there are some situations and characteristics that it is not by force to stay and endure in the hopes of him changing and seeing the light. I can’t help but think about the raw Tiwa Savage interview explaining the she has been going through, my heart and prayers are with her I hope she stays strong for herself and her son.
As much as I would one day like to be married its not the main priority now. Now is the time for me to focus on how I can grow and be a strong woman of God and how I should be living in my purpose. All the other things can come when the time is right and my when my foundation is strong enough to handle it
I hope you stay blessed sis and remember you are too precious to just settle for anyone xo
Thoughts of Chi 